The Guy Who Could Sit Anywhere
The Guy Who Could Sit Anywhere is the thirteenth URP Short. Plot When Sub gets the most comfortable ass in the world, he decides to sit where ever he wants. Story Sub is seen walking into a chair store called "Sweat Seats". (Cliff): Hey welcome to seat seats, can I help you find anything? (Sub): I'll just look around a little bit thanks. (Cliff): Ok, let me know if you need anything. Sub sits on a red chair. (Sub): Whoa, this chair is really comfortable. He sits on a blue chair. (Sub): This chair is even...more omfortable! He runs to a green chair. (Sub): This is the most comfortable-OH MY GOD! How is this even possible? Zooms in on Sub's face. (Sub): It's not the chairs that are comfortable it's...it's my ass. I have the most comfortable ass in the world! I can sit everywhere I want...where ever I...Whenever I...HAHA...HAHAHA! He kicks a chair down and then throws the rest of them everywhere, while still laughing. He runs out the store, and then runs home. He sits on his couch, the bird bath, the fence, on his TV, and his table. When he gets out of the house he also sit on a wall filled with fungus, a bench, on a homeless man, a piano (as he knocks over the singer that was already on the piano), a tree branch, the toilet in a bathroom (he had diareaha), on the statue on Aberham Lincoln, the great wall of china, on a clam under water, on top of a nun's head, on the thinker (the statue), on another bench reading a book, on a seat in an airplane, and finally back on the couch in his house. Moments later, Sub is at the hospital seeing a doctor. (Dr. Rob): You have ass cancer. (Sub): Ass cancer?! (Dr. Rob): It's...when you have cancer in your ass. (Sub): Oh my god, how could this happen? (Dr. Rob): Think. Have you sat on anything radioactive lately? (Sub): Hmmm... A flashback is seen where Sub is sitting on a radioactive barrel. (Sub): Oh...so *sniff* how much longer I- A stone is seen at a graveyard that says "R.I.P SUB 1995-2012 HE HAD A COMFORTABLE ASS". A few days later, a delivery man is seen with a big box, walking to Sweat Seats. (Cliff): Hi, welcome to sweat seats. (Delivery Man): Did you know a guy named Sub? (Cliff): Who? (Delivery Man): The guy with the comfortable ass and what not. (Cliff): Oh him! No no, I didn't know him, he just came into my store for like 30 seconds. (Delivery Man): Well uh, he wanted you to have this. (Cliff): Really? That's...OK I guess. (Delivery Man): Yeah well have a good day sir. The Delivery Man leaves the store. Cliff opens the box just to see that it was a red chair with Sub's ass sewed to it. (Cliff): WHAT THE FU- (THE END) Characters *Sub *Cliff *Dr. Rob *Delivery Man *Homeless Man *Nun *Singer Trivia *On Dr. Rob's clipboard, it says "ROB VOTED FOR HITLER". *It is confirmed that Cliff will be scarred for life after seeing the ass chair. Category:URP Shorts